CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF
KENNETH D. PATTERSON Jr.

NEW! 10 years today a whole decade... SURREAL!

Dear Daddy,

This year was one of the longest years EVER! But, this year your death wasn't as hard for me as the 9 years before. Typically I greive the ENTIRE month of November, this year.... it really hit me hard yesterday... and today. BUT I give myself this time, once a year... Thankfully it is not the WHOLE MONTH but only 2 days. I have worked on myself intensely this year... I attended Post Traumatic Shock Classes, and have come a long long way! BUT last night and TODAY, I feel ANGER more than woe is me......... I'm angry you are gone. I'm angry at a "few" people that continuously say "GET OVER IT ALREADY". Anyhow, your three grand-daughters are amazing kids! I know you are looking down and saying, hey they are mine! I know that you are proud of all of us. I know that you love us no matter where you are from heaven or earth.

I chuckle as I find myself saying or doing things you used to do to us kids! Yes, a bit of you does live on in our humor and our lives! You are not forgotten but remembered by these actions. I feel you sometimes with me along my journey, and my journey I'm ready to fight to succeed again!

It's be a LONG 10 years, but a huge milestone as well. I can't believe you would of been 75 years old! WOE!

And then there is Facebook... you would of LOVED IT! Hee hee. I have re-connected with people that have helped remind me of funny stories of you... and even one friend that has changed my life for the better! This very very very very special person in my life is a new mentor, a new guiding light, I would say, filling a void which with you and mom now gone, it's helping me and the girls. I am also reminded that each day that life is for the living... but I do give this day to you as you are worth being remembered. I have a future, I've got business deals on the table... and boy would you be drooling at the mouth! Our future is grand, and you don't have to worry about me anymore! A miracle has happened and things are going fantastic! I have guidance that I know both you and Mom would be so happy for! Infact, I think of this as my new family... I feel like a void is being filled, yet it can never replace you and Mom, but I have family again.

I just want you to know my pain is more like anger now, and I hope that anger can be contained. My sadness is for what happened to you but not for that you are gone now. The horror of how you left us, haunts me time to time, but then I think of the GOOD TIMES and I'm better. I'm not as sad that you are gone, as I do know you are in a wonderful place, but it wasn't your time, nor was it someone else's right to take you at the time you went. THAT I AM ANGRY AND HURT ABOUT. Also the shock that there are BAD people in the world. Of course I knew this... and I continue to live by the way you trusted people and unfortunately, I've been burned and hurt really bad. I wish you and I were more guarded. We trust people until they prove us wrong and I learned this year that sometimes that is a dangerous way to live, so I no LONGER live this way. I know you did and look how it finally caught up to you, so I want to learn from this experience and teach the girls to be safe as well, LOVE PEOPLE, but don't TRUST everyone.

Well Daddy.... I love you always. My candle wil remain lit til 5:30 pm approx the time that you left planet earth.... and a new decade, a new attitude towards this horrible tragedy will begin. I hope you are proud of me, as I reallly worked hard this year on learning to reprocess my feelings, my pain, and rethink how I think. TODAY it's not easy... but dang it. I deserve to tribute you on this day!

LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER!

Your Daughter

9 years ago Nov. 12

Dear Daddy,
This year has been probably the most chalenging year of my life. Both you and Mom gone, and our country is a train wreck it feels. The economy sucks and you are gone.

I often think, "call Dad, he'll cheer you up"! But then I hit a brick wall and remember, I can't. I'm finding myself greiving more this year than some of the past. I don't know exactly why?

I miss you, I wonder what if this hadn't happened? Would we had finally hit the motherload? Would you still make me laugh? Wonder what you would think of my daughters now. What it would be like to have you as a grandpa for them.

I am in a funk that I can't explain. The days go by and I feel empty and lost inside. I think about the whole deal more this year. I worry about what you went through. I'm proud to be your daughter but wish I could revenge in some matter. I know I will someday, but doing what? I'm not ready and I thought I would be very ready by this time!!! What is wrong with me? Why can't I buck up, and forget? Cuz I loved you, even when you were goofy, even when you were loud, even when you'd show up in shorts with suspenders. You were you. I am finding myself doing/saying things you and MOM would say to us to my girls. Inside it makes me warm... outside I think OH NO, we do turn into our parents. But thats ok just as a kid at the time some of it was well, hard. Now I actually laugh at some kenisms you used to say.

I'm doing everything I possible can to try to not let this take over/consume my life. I do find at times I cave in. I'm trying to be strong, and tell myself this is a test for some reason in my life... a test I had to go through for better things. But it drags on and on.

I miss you very much, I'm not dealing with Mom's death though well at all. I always thought that when she died, it would be a bit easier cuz at least we knew it was coming. Both passings have been hard in different ways. I didn't expect that.

So on Nov. 12 & Nov 14 my heart, my soul, my mind will be remembering you. I will do as I've done each year, light a candle, put some pictures together, and think of you.

Even though you are not here, I still love you,

Super Q

(so I'm trying to be strong... new nickname a friend came up with.. for some reason it reminds me that I am a lot stronger than often I ever think)..

8 years ago Nov. 12, 2009

I'm going to light a candle for you
and let it burn all day...

I'm going to have friends come
and spend a weekend...

Play with the girls....

Smile up onto you....

Cuz I love you and I'll never ever forget the
GOOD in you that YOU taught me.

I find myself being somewhat YOU
when dealing with my girls... I chuckle to myself and say,
"that's what my daddie did for me/or with me".

I went to a nice church last Sunday, and felt closer to you than I have in a long time.
I'm feeling that faith might help me heal better/faster than all by myself.

I LOVE YOU FOREVER! YOU LIVE IN US!

Soozie Kew

TODAY Oct. of 2009
I am sitting here, thinking of you.
Wishing that you could be here right now.
My heart is in pain, missing your hugs.
Still trying to find MY WAY
now that you're gone and Mom is also gone.

I want to find someway, to battle, to share the grief that METH drugs has done to not only you, but me, and my girls and your entire extended family. I want to scream to the world.... METH IS BAD, I've never seen meth, I've never done a evil drug like that, and yet me and your loved ones are also like you, a victim of this drug. I want to go talk to the weirdos that do this drug, tell them my pain.. my childrens pain. I want them to see, that it messed their lives, the ones they take and the people who are left behind.. how it hurts them too.

Daddy, now that you're gone, the sky is a different shade of blue. It's blue, but its as in music, blues.... da blues... I am struggling with the thought, of growing older and your not.

Well, have you know.. I will keep you alive in memory as long as I shall live too.

What can I do? That is the question. I am trying to survive, and move on, but somehow, just a moment ago, in the middle of an awesome work brainstorm, I turned to my phone and thought, I want to call my Daddy. Oh right?! I can't. I felt a deep despair I haven't felt in a while.

It's that time of year.

It is now 6 YEARS... (old post, I can't take it down!)
Approx. 5-6 PM in the evening...
(I prepare myself for that moment the
approx. time you were taken)

Just as I wrote exactly this time last year 2006...

(Danny took YOU from US. All I can think of is his angry/meth head face. I am going to put this thought away today if I can and try to concentrate on just the celebration of YOU/your life)

DEAR DAD:

Last year we learned that we have a new brother in our family. We have met him, and love him and you would be so proud of him. You never knew that you had fathered this child... I grieve that for you often about this, I am angry that you never got the chance to meet him. He is a very savvy guy. Smart and very thoughtful and it has been a gift from up above to me!

I feel that I've gotten a piece of you back into my living life. He is just as much a part of you as I am. I love spending time with him and his family. It's like a miracle. I prayed for you to come back somehow, and in an unexpected way YOU DID. This was an answer to my prayers.

He is very interested in our family and its history and all the studying I've done after you were killed, he's wanting to know. It is hard to find people that want to listen to your own family's genealogy! It is boring to people that aren't in the family. So for me its been wonderful on that aspect too. We talk a lot about your life and where you came from and what you were like. So daddie, you are definitely not forgotten.... You never will be.

You also have a granddaughter from your youngest son, she will be two this month, and our new older son has 3 children making you now a grandfather of 6 kids! WOW! He has 2 boys and 1 girl. Gosh how I wish you could see them as they are all wonderful, beautiful children. This makes 4 girls/2 boy grandsons. WOW.

But, as I sit here, today, it is exactly like LAST YEAR, a black/cloudy, a windy, day...and I am in mourning. But this year, I'm trying to also celebrate your life more than mourn. Thinking of the fun, happy, good things about you.

But. It still seems like yesterday this all happened to you.

It is a harder day this year to to grieve your loss for me, and remember that WE LOVE YOU, and miss you more and more as the days go by.

It's been 6 years making the calendar fall on the same exact days of the week. It's a MONDAY as it was a Monday in 2001.

So, for some reason because of the date I'm hurting, I'm hurting even more this year than any other. The same day thing... MONDAY.

Also, Mom is not well, I fear she'll die today too. She promises me she won't but I've feared that she is failing and could die on the same day or month as you, making my Novembers' the toughest month of all forever.

I will light a candle for you today... I will dedicate today to remembering your presence on this planet. The joy you have brought to the world. The children and grandchildren that came from your life here. We all go on, we will all be good citizens and make you proud.

I also vow again to you today that when I can, after a few of my own personal fights I'm fighting myself... I'm still not ready yet, but I will, somehow help removed the demons of the products of METH in this world, I do not know yet how or exactly when or how... BUT I WILL combat the drug problem and make certain that your death wasn't in vain. I will help fight the fight to stop this from happening to another small town girl like me or a whole family like us. If I can help even one person/family not go through this I would be so very proud.

I still wish that Mr. Daniel "DANNY" Flack could or even would know/understand or even care the way we all feel. I know that will never ever happen. This feeling, we all have he is not capable of feeling. That is a torture to me in itself.

He doesn't care that he hurt all of us forever. He's made our lives never the same again... since what he did to you, on this day Nov., 12, 2001.. he took away my faith in people, my faith in this world that there is peace on earth and safety. I'm am working on getting this faith back now, but doing so very carefully.

I'm being very selective in the people I CHOOSE to interact with and for a Patterson, its hard, I want to meet and get to know lots of people but, you just can't trust people in this world today as easily.

I now fear that not only my children but all children will never be safe in my mind to walk around the block, ride a bike, or hang out at the mall with friends. I am prisoner to fear/paranoia forever... This is something I'm myself am trying to loosen up on, but its going to take me a long time. Probably until my children are of adult age.

I LOVE YOU DADDIE.. We all love you.

As I said earlier, its a cold windy, WINDY day. The winds are howling. Sounds like a day for sailing if it weren't so cold! The wind will always remind me of you as you loved it in your face either on a boat, or a pair of skis, or even while riding your bicycle.

You are truly missed. I wish you were here to see where our lives have gone, your sons are doing awesome, your daughter is conquering some really hard issues right now, she is holding her head as high as she can. I am taking the best care of MOM I can and raising two girls, now out on my own once again. I should have listened to you... so I will tell you between you and me: YOU WERE RIGHT, I WAS WRONG. Enough said on that one, you know what I am talking about.

I wish you could have one day to be here and in your own physical body to see all of your children, grandchildren and all of their accomplishments; and you could come stay with me go skiing here once again. They expect to open up the slopes here soon!

On the behalf of everyone in our family that loves you,

I hope that you are in heaven doing all the things you love,

Peace and Love from all of us,

Forever your daughter(written by daughter on Nov. 12 2007 11:50 am)

Obituary Oregonian Newspaper December 2, 2001		OREGONIAN NEWSPAPER ARTICLE - May 18, 2002 Man's guilty plea earns life sentence Click here for Ken's Daughter's take on how/why/what happend..
"It will be fun" - Ken Patterson
Always a business man, a comedian, and a true believer that there is good in all people....
I leave this page... as a tribute and a reminder, that Kenneth was and is very much loved, will be missed and that violence can not be tolerated. Murder, is not entertainment!
Friends may think we have forgotten When at times they see us smile Little do they know the heartache That our smile hides all the while Beautiful memories are wondeful things They last till the longest day They never wear out, they never get lost And can never be given away To some you may be forgotten To others a part of the past But those who loved you and lost you Your memory will always last. Author Unknown

I know, he will find my page,
and be smilin' from the heavens above.

I hope, I wish, I will try to believe this poem is true....

Native American Prayer

I give you this one thought to keep-
I am with you still-- I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the morning's hush
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone-
I am with you still- in each new dawn.

OREGONIAN NEWSPAPER ARTICLE - May 18, 2002
Man's guilty plea earns life sentence

Daniel Phillip Flack - submitted a guilty plea, Thursday May 16, 2002

Daughter's speech as it sort of went.... on day of sentencing infront of the COURT and Flack

Kenneth, always wore suspenders, he liked baseball caps, and passion for a nice riding bicycle and a real bargain!

He had many talents, so many to list on the Internet (endless).
Never dull, always busy, and never bored.

Always chasing the rainbow, even though without the pot of gold he was happy, content and knew there was more to life.

"God doesn't make crap" was, a common motto he told me, his daughter.

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Temp. Down due to SPACE on server...
added 12/20/01
This slide show powerpoint presentation was shown at the:
Patterson Family Memorial
In loving memory of Ken Patterson
November 26, 2001 6pm
Private Family Dinner

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Words from the Memorial Handout
Written by son
11/26/01

Today we gather to honor the memory of Ken Dillard Patterson Jr. He was born in 1936 in Eugene, Oregon. His occupations, achievements, friends, projects and interests were numerous. Also numerous were the people whose lives were touched by knowing him.

Ken had a unique sense of humor and a perspective all his own. You could always depend on him for a joke or a kind word when you needed one. He was a hard worker and he liked to play just as much. He was so good at fusing the two, that some of the time we didn’t know which he was doing.

Ken looked at life as a journey. He used every opportunely and took every chance that came his way. He was a dreamer and a believer.

In this journey, Ken had many modes of transportation. There are those of us in his life that always think of him when we see a sailboat, tug, tanker, fishing boat or runabout. There are some people that might remember traveling with him by rail. Some might recall seeing the world with him through the windows of a vintage Porsche or a beat up truck. Lately he had been quite fond of the wind in his face as he pedaled a bicycle. There are even those who not too long ago watched with a pit in their stomachs and a smile on their faces as he snow ski again after a 30 year break.

Ken wove us all into the tapestry of his life. If you ask someone for their favorite Ken story, it will be different than any one else's. If you ask someone how he impacted their life, no two answers will be the same.

He was our friend and every one of us is richer for knowing him and poorer for our loss. We all loved him and know that he will be with us in our memories and our hearts forever.

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Ken D. Patterson Jr.
This was written as a guide for the speach given by daughter
(went something like this)
11/26/01

I want to thank all of you for coming....
I know that this is not the ORDINARY type of Memorial Service....

But due to the circumstances and what my father was all about, he was never ordinary, this is actually the way I know my father would like us to memorialize him.

Good people, good food, and lots of napkins to doodle on.

I'd like to just say a few of my personal thoughts about my Dad; I'm a Patterson,
I'll try to make it not to long winded.... I will! We love to talk...

The things I remember most about my Dad... are his ways of saying just the right thing at the wrong .... or sometimes right times.

Often he'd have his own little Ken-isms..... that just seem to appear out of thin air.
Witty, Funny, and sometimes, well to be honest... not always appropriate at the time..
But, later as we sit around and talk.... sometimes you just have to kind of laugh.

We'll get there when we get there..... WHEN I WAS LATE FOR SCHOOL and HE WAS DRIVING ME... he would get in the car..... then get out.. and tinker with who knows what in the garage before we could actually go.

Be good, or I'll tell your parents! ..... Often when in public places.... he'd threaten to pretend we weren't his kids... Not that we were being difficult each time, but if we were..... He would say this.. and make us laugh... and we'd forget maybe the little tantrum we were having. Often he'd threaten to sell us to the gypsies too... if we didn't behave. I BELIEVE HIM! He probably knew some gypsies.

Don't wear anything... you'll be the most popular girl there! When I would agonize over what to wear or buy for an event, a dance or special gathering.... I remember getting really beat red in the face the few times he said this to me in high school..... One, cuz well, he's so darn laid back and doesn't stress about clothing... Two, cuz... well, I always believed everything my Dad said... first time around. :-)

They make money.... lots and lots... of money. Ok.. We'd be on the I-5 freeway... going past that SMELLY MILL/PLANT off to the west side. I wondered what they actually made there... and why it smelled so bad.... Dad told me... they make money.... lots of money there... and unfortunately, I thought my entire teenage years.. they PRINTED MONEY THERE! Driving with my friends... I said.. they make money there.... my friends said... WHAT? I said my Dad told me they make money there.. ya know print it. My friends laughed... and well, at that instance it hit me WHAT HE MEANT!

It will be fun.... ok... he'd would say this over... well, lets buy a bag of potato chips...
It will be fun! Or, any other project.... what ever it was, wherever we were going... it will be fun. Most of all Dad... did use this phrase... for food... though. I always wondered how food... could be fun. I don't know if it's the actually eating it, or preparing it. He liked it all.

God doesn't make crap! This is a motto he spoke to me almost every time I spoke with him the last few months. He believed that everyone is good, in his or her own ways. He never saw a person with a handicap as handicapped. He knew everyone had a purpose on the planet no matter if they were given all the TOOLS or not to do a job. There is always a way.... and if you can't do it yourself... there is a way... to get it done... I thought of Dad as a sort of TOM SAWYER. He would trade this for that, you rub my back this time, and I'll get yours later.

Short story... 1997? after the Portland area flood. Salvation Army, by his home was flooded. He went in noticed the water damage, and somehow struck a deal with the manager... He gave $80.00 for all the bicycles in there. They were in need of de-rusting and probably many other repairs. Dad took them all, I don't know how many there were but there were a few. He found 3-4 young boys from the neighborhood. He got them to help him oil chains and gets the bikes back into better shape. For his work he gave each boy a bike.

Well, later that day after the boys left with their earnings, an upset Mother..... came to Dad's place... dragging this kid by an ear.. with a bike. She said... to Dad... DID YOU GIVE MY SONS A BICYCLES?, Dad said.... No, they earned it, do you have a bicycle? He said to the woman... she said NO, he said "what color would you like?".

Dad loved to know everything about people.... what they did, what their parents did and what their parents did. We'd drive down the road in the car; I might wave at a friend walking down the street. Dad would say.. WHO is that? I'd say.... So and so... and he'd say... What does her Dad do? I said I don't know! He asks ok, what does her Mom do?

My Dad taught me about water sports, snow skiing, boating of all types, fishing.... well, I taught him some about trout fishing, you don't fix something till it breaks if you don't have to, but restore before it is lost, he taught me that you can work your fingers to the bone to get and achieve everything you think you need, but really to be happy you need nothing but a place over your head, food in your belly, clothes, you don't really need a computer but a napkin and a pen can be a place to sketch out a business idea, woodworking project, your telephone address book, and doodles for me to laugh at.

I love my dad, I wish him peace, happiness, and I want him to know that through Matt, Alexis and Myself he will always live on in our hearts and souls.

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I'm will also be continuing father's ONLINE business:
Selling/Distribution of Janson Ear Clips.
One of the few business projects we worked together during the last 2 years.

WE SOLD OUT IN AUGUST!! Daddie I finished your business!

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